Yes, these are my children.
Yes, they are brother and sister.
Yes, my husband is their father.
Yes, my family is beautiful.
I am a very luck Mom!!!!!
At a restaurant I don't need some stranger coming up to us asking where my kids are from. Unless you are going around the room and taking a poll about everyones origins, I find it to be a bit rude. So if you come up to me and ask this question, I will say I brought them from home. Or if I'm in a particularly snarky mood I'll tell you I found them in nearby park on the way there.
Oh and please don't ask me how much my children cost? I understand asking if you have set up a time to talk to me about our adoption privately. However, how do you think that makes my kids feel when strangers ask that? My children are priceless and have never been and never will be for sell. So if you decide to ask about the cost, I will level the playing field by asking you about some personal finances such as your personal debt or how much money you make a year.
Our children's birth parents are wonderful people that made the most selfless and love filled decision I have ever witnessed. So please don't bad mouth them or say things like why didn't their first parents want them. It wasn't a matter of not wanting them. It was a matter of loving them so much that they sacrificed their own feelings to provide them with a better life. I don't think many people are strong enough and selfless enough to be birth parents. They deserve our respect.
Finally, there is some terminology that really gets under people skin when referring to adoption. First of all the term "real" parents. That means that someone is a fake parent, not a good thing.
Saying that someone "gave up" or is "giving up" a child for adoption. The correct term is "placed" for adoption or "making an adoption plan". As stated earlier, birth parents love their children and will carry them in their hearts forever. Saying they gave them up is not reflective of their sacrifice.
Well Jo I am a birth mom and the adoptive mother is my best friend. I love what great gift I gave to them and our termonlogy for it is "I just babysat him for 9 months". Since they adopted their son, they have also adopted 2 little girls. They have a great family and I love seeing their successes. I can only imagine your feelings when people question you about your beautiful angels. Please know that some people just have no cuth and no respect for other peoples lives and or choices. I look at them as un-educated people who really don't desereve any of my attention. You are right to ask them about their personal informaion if they think they can ask you. Have a great time with your family and I can't wait tillI can make it back there to meet you in person. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Clarissa! I think it is great that you are friends your sons adoptive mother. I realize that most people are trying to be nice and don't realize that what they are saying is a bit rude. You should try to come to the reunion next year in July.
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