I've started couponing and learning the ins and outs of the bargain hunting world. I love it and get some great deals and my husband is happy about it. Now I'm learning to sew. I'm taking a beginners class next week and I am excited to make my first throw pillow. I think it will be fun to create things that we can use around the house. You're probably thinking that I'm taking a positive approach to nurturing the learner in me, however I'm finding that there is another twist in the learner in me. I want to be graded on everything! That's right, I feel like I'm in need of some sort of feedback and critique on my new skills.
Ever since I can remember I've always had a way to measure my mastery of the things I've learned. From my dance teacher as a child I would get a positive word or a disappointed look, from sports I either won or lost, in school I got good grades or won awards and in my career I got raises and promotions. As a stay at home mom no one gives me a gold star for cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry or not losing my temper when the kids act up. At the end of the day the kids don't report to my husband that mom made a fantastic lunch and played a superb game of hide and seek.
So why as a grown woman why am I looking for acknowledgment for my daily tasks? Am I the only one that wants a report card to come in the mail every 9 weeks that gives me a grade and constructive feedback? It could say that in cooking I'm getting a 95 and the lasagna was delicious, however in vacuuming I'm missing some spots and not doing it enough so I get a 78. I would then strive to improve the vacuuming so that I could make the honor roll someday.
I know this sounds ridiculous and I know its absurd. I have two great kids and a loving husband and a house that is cleaner than most, so that should tell me that I am doing fine. Yet I still have an irrational desire for feedback that tells me if I'm on the right track as a mother and wife.
Ha! You are not alone. So not alone. I thought feeling this way was too needy of me. I have not told anybody about it, all along I thought the reason why I feel this way was because growing up, I never received a lot of good feedback at home. My mother was so private in her feelings towards us. But I always get a lot of good ones while in school. And I felt something is missing nowadays. Now I can say you are probably being needy like me or I am being absurd or ridiculous because I have 2 great kids and a loving husband too just like you. :-) Good luck on your sewing class.
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